Kamis, 22 Maret 2012

TEXT SPOOF

American & Russian Submarines
German fisherman was at the sea with a small boat. After some time American submarine surfaced near him.
The captain asked the fisherman: “Which way is Alaska?”
The fisherman points his finger: “That way!”
“Thanks!” says the American, shouts “South-South-East, bearing 159.5 degrees!” down the hatch and the submarine submerges.
Ten minutes later a Soviet submarine emerges. The Russian captain opens the hatch and asks the fisherman: “Where did the American submarine go?”
The fisherman replies: “South-South-East bearing 159.5 degrees!”
“What?”, asked Russian captain.
“I said, they went to South-South-East bearing 159.5 degrees!”
“What did you mean of that? You’d better show us the direction with your finger, if
you don’t want us to sink you!”
Orientation : German fisherman… surfaced near him.
Event 1 : The captain asked… submarine submerges.
Event 2 : Ten minutes later… bearing 159.5 degrees!”
Twist : “What did you mean of that? You’d better show us the direction with your finger, if
you don’t want us to sink you!”

Buying A Broom
A woman was buying a broom in a store.
“Show me that one, please,” she says to the salesgirl.
The salesgirl brings it to her.
“No, that’s not what I want,” says the woman.
“Perhaps this one?” suggests the salesgirl.
“No, not that one either.”
“What about this one then?” The girl keeps on trying.
After twenty minutes more of this the woman says: “Very well, this one will do.”
“Madam,” says the harassed salesgirl, “Shall I wrap it for you or will you fly it home?”
Orientation : A woman was buying a broom in a store.
Event : “Show me that… one will do.”
Twist : “Madam,” says the harassed salesgirl, “Shall I wrap it for you or will you fly it home?”
For Rent
There was an advertisement at the newspaper : Apartment for rent, just for a family without children.
A man visited to that apartment, think for a moment, then agree with the rules. But tomorrow, he move to the apartment with his wife and seven kids!! The owner of apartment gets angry.
“Sir, yesterday I was telling you! This apartment was just for rent for a family without children!”
“What children?” answer the man. “You said this seven are children? No!! They’re monsters!”
Orientation : There was an… without children.
Event : A man visited to… a family without children!”
Twist : “What children?” answer the man. “You said this seven are children? No!! They’re monsters!”
Costumers Are Right
Marto had apprenticeship at repairing shop in middle semester holiday. In the third day, Marto fought with the costumer. Then he called by the owner.
“Marto, your behavior was very bad. The all of workers at this repairing shop are prohibited to fight with the costumer. In this repairing shop, the costumers are always right!”
“But sir…” Marto can’t continuing his words because being cut by the owner.
“Don’t be protest! Ok, I will forgive you. But next time don’t be happen again. Now tell me, what happened with that costumer?” asked the owner of repairing shop.
“We fought because the costumer said that the owner of repairing shop was pettifogging and likes to corrupt…” said Marto.
Orientation : Marto had apprenticeship… Then he called by the owner.
Event : “Marto, your behavior… asked the owner of repairing shop.
Twist : “We fought because the costumer said that the owner of repairing shop was pettifogging and likes to corrupt…” said Marto.
Rope
Ian, Marto and Harsya have climbed the mountain. The roads to the mountain pass was very slippery because of rain. Even they are walking carefully, on their way to the mount, Ian got slipped and fell to the cliff. Marto threw the rope to helping Ian.
“Ian, hold this rope! I will pull up you!” shouted Marto.
“I can’t… Both of my arms are broken!” answer Ian.
“Ok, bite the rope!” said Marto.
After Ian bite that rope, Marto and Harsya pull up Ian steeply. Finally Ian can reach the edge of cliff. Harsya, who worried with his friend, asked Ian when Ian still biting the rope.
“Your head are okay, Ian?” asked Harsya.
“No, Harsya!” answer Ian.
Then Ian fell again to the cliff.
Orientation : Ian, Marto and Harsya… the rope to helping Ian.
Event 1 : “Ian, hold this rope! … said Marto.
Event 2 : After Ian bite… “No, Harsya!” answer Ian.
Twist : Then Ian fell again to the cliff.
Pesticide Juice
A month ago, Tama and his family sells juice, like tomato juice, orange juice, etc. But because of the costumers were didn’t really like the juices, so Tama’s family closed the selling juice and opened farming medicine shop like insecticide, pesticide, compost, etc.
One night later, Dea met with Tama. Tama’s head was bandaged, and his eyes was black-blue.
“What happened with you?” asked Dea.
“I have been hit by the costumer” answered Tama.
“Hit by costumer? Why?”
“Yeah, yesterday at the afternoon, I was selling farming medicine. Then a costumer came in and asked for liquid pesticide. Subconciously, I said like when I sell the juice a month ago,’Do you want to pack it or drink here?’. Finally I got hit by the costumer…”
Orientation : A month ago… compost, etc.
Event : One night later… liquid pesticide.
Twist : Subconciously, I said like when I sell the juice a month ago,’Do you want to pack it or drink here?’. Finally I got hit by the costumer…”

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